Do you Raclette?

Do I what? 

Do you Raclette?

What's a Raclette?

Well, let me tell you...

In our Scentsy Family of brands, we have a line called Velata. Velata (translates 'to be veiled') is a kitchen system and food product line meant to draw family and friends back to the table again. It began with the highest quality Belgian chocolate and Scentsy style fondue warmers that keep the chocolate in melted perfection, to cheese perfect for dipping just about anything into it!

Our latest product, the Raclette, has taken off by storm and I'm here, to introduce it to you!

First, let's define Raclette: Raclette is the Swiss tradition of heating cheese until it reaches melted goodness and then scraping it onto a favorite dish, typically potatoes, onions or pickles. Straight from wheel to plate.

The idea of the Raclette dates all the way back to the 12th century.

As time as gone on, more modern versions have popped up all over the world allowing people to come together to enjoy the meal preparation (and devouring there of) around the table. It has combined a grill style tabletop griddle or hot plate with small pans underneath meant to melt the cheese to then be gloriously poured on top of a favorite dish. This of course when using a open coal fire isn't as practical. :)

The idea of the raclette is to create a more sociable eating experience. Sometimes even lasting several hours as people gather to talk, eat and drink. In fact, in French and European markets, you may find pre-sliced  cheese, small vegetables and meats ready specifically for Raclette use. Some restaurants even provide these setups for dinner parties.

Well, it's time to bring the Raclette to America and we're going to do it Velata style.

Introducing, the Velata Raclette:

 

Now, you are probably ooing and awing (as well you should) but still, would like to hear some first hand experiences when it comes to this fancy pants grill.

We received our Raclette on Friday and I was over the moon excited to get it out of the box and on my table. Dinner time in our house usually looks like this:

Me: "Honey, can you please get the girls, I'm trying to cook dinner."

Me: "Girls, I need you not to play in the kitchen while I cook."

Me: "Girls, no, you can't help, that pot is too far back and you can't reach."

Me: "Honey, please come occupy the girls so I can finish up dinner!"

Them: "When will dinner be ready?????????" (x100)

Keep in mind we have a very small kitchen and while I'd love to let my girls help, it's just not safely feasible.

And then we get into the whole chat of how I didn't put this on her plate or did put that on her plate and she doesn't like it. Or maybe why I made hers like this but made his like that. All of this and in 15 minutes, we've argued about what they need to eat before they leave the table, it's scarfed down and they're all gone again with mom left to pick up the mess.

It has all changed.

With the raclette, I can do the meal prep (which is just slicing or chopping) while everyone is at work or school and when they come in have the raclette ready to go. I place the dishes of goodies around the table, hand each person a set of tongs and a tray and we begin to cook dinner...together.

Each of them gets to design their own meal based on what we have set out which means no more short order cooking mommy. We're all choosing what we'd like and how we'd like it cooked. We're sitting around the same table laughing and talking about our days while it sizzles away. When one of them is still hungry, they just pick what they'd like and pop in on the grill or in the tray instead of mom or dad leaving the table to fill the plates with seconds. My girls also love the idea that they're the ones doing the cooking. At 9 and 5, they're not quite ready to be stove top cooking yet, but this affords them the basic skills that and make them feel like they are big stuff! In fact, my littlest said last night, "Look mom! I'm a real live cooker!" She was beaming!

Oh, and the strangest thing has happened. Instead of dinner being a dine and dash event, we're all staying until the last person is done, spending more time talking and when we're all fully satisfied, THEY HELP ME CLEAN IT UP! (insert angelic voices here!)

Mind you, clean up means rinsing our cheese trays out with a little soap and hot water and washing the grill down in the same way. Clean up is crazy easy!

 Doesn't matter if we had pancakes, eggs and bacon or a full fajita spread.That's it! 

Another plus we're finding is that because of the non-stick grilling surface, we don't have to cook with any additional oils or fats. Even my pans have to have a little when I use the stove.  This provides us with an avenue for cleaner, healthier eating. We've also tried cooking bacon for a splatter test and we're happy to see that it cooked up to crispy perfection without splatter or popping.

There is truly a word of possibility when it comes to this kitchen gadget. Besides bringing your wild bunch to the table, the Raclette could be used in a small studio or apartment, dorm room, even when camping or Rv'ing. It could be used for a small family or a big party. Any place you have an outlet, you can raclette. Speaking of camping, we've even done S'mores...

At a cost of $140, the Raclette is an affordable kitchen staple that will not only make moms job in the kitchen much easier, but will create a dinner time that is full of memory making.

If you'd like to see other ways we use the Raclette, along with recipes, tips and tricks for all our other Velata products, join us on our Kickin' It In The Kitchen Facebook group! We'd love to have you!

If you'd like to purchase your very own Raclette or any of our other products, you can visit my website at www.amandajohnson.velata.us

So now, I must ask again....

Do you Raclette?

What to look for when choosing a Direct Sales company...

When you're looking at the prospect of working from home or finding a way to supplement your income, Direct sales is often the go to. However, with a world of possibilities when it comes to what product and which company,  it can become overwhelming quickly.
Below are my top 6 things to look for when choosing a Direct Sales company:

1. Are they a member of the DSA? 
    The DSA (or Direct Sales Association) is a group that seeks "To protect, serve and promote the effectiveness of member companies and the independent business people they represent. To ensure that the marketing by member companies of products and/or the direct sales opportunity is conducted with the highest level of business ethics and service to consumers." (from DSA.org)
   Choosing a company who is a part of the DSA, let's you know that the company is being held to a strict code of ethics that is meant to protect both the customer and consultant. It also protects you from companies who run a 'pyramid scheme' as they are not allowed admittance into the DSA organization. In a nutshell, choosing a company in the DSA protects you from the crazies. :) To see if the company you're considering is a member, use this link to do a search... DSA MEMBERS

2. Is a product you could be or are passionate about?
     Passion is everything! It doesn't make sense to become a consultant for a product you wouldn't use yourself or recommend to family or friends. If you wouldn't recommend it, how can you sell it? When you are excited about the product, talking about it becomes second nature and that means success in your new business. Never join a company to 'help a friend' even if it's not something you love. It won't do either of you any good.

3. What will your initial investment be?
     Ask what the cost of the start up kit will be and if there is any other required purchases you will have to make to begin. Also know ahead of time if there will be any monthly or yearly fees you will have to pay. You don't want things like this to sneak up on you when it's too late. Knowing before hand will let you know if it's something you can handle as your  business grows. Every company will have small costs like catalogs, order forms etc., but beyond that, what is needed? Also, while you have to spend money to make money, you shouldn't have to go into immense debt to do it. A company that offers a credit card to purchase their kit would be one I would personally shy away from. Also know whether the company requires you to carry inventory and whether it is something you'd be comfortable or have the space to do.

4. What kind of support is available to you?
  Do they have training calls or a place for resources to be readily available to you? What about regional meetings or a convention? Will you have direct support from your sponsor or be able to be in contact with other consultants for ideas and encouragement? No one wants to be left stranded trying to figure these things out on their own. We all need guidance and having it will give you the best start possible and help you maintain longevity in your new business. Ask your potential sponsor what they offer in the way of training and support and make sure it is enough that would give you the confidence to do well.

 5.  When you've found something you're interested in, ask questions!
   Whether it's through the company directly or a consultant you know, ask the questions that are most important to you. What is their compensation plan like? Will you pay the hostess reward fees? What will having a website cost? What are the monthly minimums etc.? Knowing the answers will help guide you in making a decision that will be best for where you're at and what you'd like to get from your new business. Be sure you're asking someone who is trustworthy and you feel is providing you with honest information.

6. Do your morals line up with theirs?
  Simple as that. If your heart can't connect with that of the companies mission statement or desire purpose, it probably isn't the Direct Sales company for you.



 I'd all but given up on the hopes of working from home when Scentsy came my way. I made the decision to join after learning by trial and error what to look for. I had decided then that it would be the LAST attempt at direct sales. If I failed, that was it. Thankfully, it has thrived beyond our expectations and so it will indeed be my last, but only because I plan on staying forever. :)

Previous to Scentsy, I was a consultant for 2 other Direct Sales companies and my time spent with both was very short, less than 6 months. What I thought were going to be great ways for me to make money for my family, ended up not working out. Had I followed this list, I would have saved my time and money until I found the perfect fit in my current roll as a consultant with the Scentsy Family.

 If you'd like to learn more about becoming a Scentsy Family consultant, I'd love to chat! If you have any additional tips, please feel free to share in our comment section below.

www.kickinwicks.com

Missing myself- My Mirena Experience

Before I begin, I would like to note that I am not a physician or am dispensing any medical advice. :) I am solely sharing my own experience with the Mirena IUD in hopes to help educate others before they make a birth control decision. It is so very important that we are in charge of our own health, knowing fully as much as we can before we make decisions that will affect it. This is my story...




5 years ago, shortly after the birth of my second daughter, my husband and I started looking for options when it came to birth control. My family has history of stroke, so pills weren't necessarily the best option and after hearing others experience with the Depo shot, I was not interested in it. At my 6 week post birth appointment, I spoke with my doctor who recommended the Mirena IUD as he'd seen great success with it and was a huge proponent. It was a newer form of BC and lasted 5 years. At that point we weren't sure whether we'd like to add any more to our family and wanted to keep our options open, so it seemed like a good plan. We made the decision to go with it. Insertion went well, although uncomfortable. I would relate it to a mild labor contraction. Others have had very little or no pain, some much more. I didn't just love it, but after a pain reliever was okay.

At this same time, I was struggling with postpartum depression and was prescribed Cymbalta. I started feeling just off, not really good way to explain it, but I contributed it to the side affects of the Cymbalta because Mirena, on the books, has very few side affects. One of the biggest changes I noticed was my attitude just becoming cold. Nothing made me sad or empathetic. I'd gone from a happy crier, to a non emotional person unless it was anger. There were 2 versions of Amanda. Overly relaxed/not caring and angry. No in between. After about 6 months of the Cymbalta, I'd had enough and stopped taking it.

Over the next 3 years, everything seemed to be okay, or so I thought. There were different times where I could just feel something was off, but could never put my finger on it. I would go through times of high anxiety to being very lethargic. I was experiencing headache/ migraines more often and my moods started shifting with little to no real cause. I was also starting to lose a lot of hair and my skin would go through phases, especially on my feet, of just peeling off in huge pieces. Listen, I know it's gross, I get it!  Since I'm a 'last resort' go the the doctor kind of gal, I didn't make an appointment to look into what was going on. I just dealt with them as they came and would find some reason to justify what was going on. (stress, allergies etc.) I talked to a friend about the possibility of Hypothyroidism, but never did go have the blood work done.

Then, in the early summer of 2012, everything started going downhill and fast. I started feeling more and more off. My hair was coming out in small hand fulls every time I showered or brushed. Thankfully, I have super thick hair, so it didn't become noticeable to anyone else.  My hair also started greying at warp speed. My dad went grey very early and so I somewhat expected it, but because I was losing so much, everything that grew back in, was grey. Over a years time, the amount of grey increased by an easy 80%. I went from having 3-6 strands hidden throughout, to this...

The smaller picture shows what my hair looked like when I began the Mirena and then 4 years in. Now, having finished the 5th year, it is considerably greyer than the larger picture.

What I should have known then was that something was not going right, but again, I made other excuses for the symptoms I was experiencing. I mean, grey comes with stress, right? In a time my marriage was struggling and I was raising 2 little girls, it could have easily been stress.

As the year continued, the symptoms started becoming increasingly worse.

 Here is a list of what I started experiencing on a consistent basis:

Headaches/Migraines - once a week minimum

Skin peeling/ dryness- skin coming off in large pieces esp. on my feet

Deep pain in my left lower abdomen- felt as though I was being stabbed

Sharp pain in my left breast- just under my armpit and around my back. I would have to sit and hold it to find relief. Pain relievers wouldn't touch it.

Severe mood swings/ irritability- read below for more

Periods returning and not on a regular cycle- went from no period at all to light spotting to 2-3 a month.

Light head/ Dizziness/ change in my vision- especially from turning my head too quickly or trying to focus

High anxiety- crippling fear of things our of my control

Bloating & water retention- never experienced before. Became much worse in the last 6 months causing an 8-10 weight gain around my cycle.

Skin break outs/ Milia - especially under my eyes

Mind racing/ forgetful/ unable to concentrate- one thought would cause a train reaction to 400 others. I was also forgetting very simple things or what I was talking about mid sentence

Insomnia- mostly caused from not being able to quiet my mind

If I had to pick one symptom that I hated the most, it would be the mood swings. I'm not talking about just getting cranky. I'm talking about one very small trigger that would ensue in pure rage. Screaming, yelling, throwing things anger. This is NOT my personality. If you know me and are reading this, you're probably surprised. I remember in these moments, internally, thinking "what am I doing???". Almost as if something else was completely taking over my mind. It was such a terribly helpless feeling and most unfortunately, my little family suffered the most for it. I also can't tell you how many pregnancy tests I took throughout the last 5 years as different symptoms appeared. Especially when the periods began again and were so irregular.

Laundry list, right? Now, before you rant, I know I should have seen a doctor much sooner than I did. It was a total fault and lack of care for myself and I regret it.

It wasn't until I started experiencing the sharp pains in my lower abdomen and breast that I really started becoming worried. There is history of breast cancer in my family and also of premenopausal hysterectomies. I had pretty much convinced myself that I was suffering from Hypothyroidism with all the other symptoms, but these were not on the list. The thought of it being the Mirena was in the back of my mind and I'd considered asking my doctor to remove it just to see, but wanted the hormone testing done first. My husband would soon be having a Vasectomy and so there wasn't a need to remove it just yet if we didn't have to. I finally made an appointment with my doctor in September of 2013.

At my visit, I expressed my concerns with my doctor (who I love!) and shared my thoughts on the hypothyroidism, the pain and worry of breast cancer. He did a thorough exam and I was relived to hear that he found no lumps in my breast and attributed it to the lymph nodes swelling during my cycle. He ordered the hormone test for the hypothyroidism, but the pain in my side he wasn't sure about. He suspected an infection in my uterus and ordered an RX to take for 2 weeks and to return for a follow up. 

The next weeks were horrible as the pain in my side only got worse and I felt horrible.

At the 2 week checkup, I learned that my hormone test came back within the normal range (although on the low end) and he asked about my pain, expecting it to be better. I told him how it had actually been worse and the next words out of his mouth were , "then it's the Mirena."

It had to come out and it needed to come out and immediately. Within minutes, we were set up for removal.

(before reading on, please be aware that it may be TMI for some)

Removal of my Mirena was anything but easy. My doctor could not find it. He went through 5 different types of forceps before he decided that he could not get a hold of the IUD for removal. I was moved into another room where he could use an intrauterine camera to look for it. I was laid back in a chair that tipped me upside down and filled with saline. I have to admit that at this point, I was so scared. I'd heard story after story of the IUD breaking lose and traveling into the uterus or abdomen causing the need for surgery to remove it. I was by myself and just wanted my husband there to hold my hand. I was working hard at not crying and made light of the situation as best I could by asking for a lollipop  when I was done (which I never got) or asking to watch the screen as they navigated my reproductive system. 

 Thankfully, after using the small camera to find the strings, he was able to successful (painfully) remove the Mirena. It had shifted and become lodged higher in my cervix than is normal. 

After the procedure was over, my doctor advised that it was likely I would bleed for a few days and to come back in 6 weeks to see how things were going. That we would only know if it was the Mirena causing the pain by letting my body have time to heal. If that wasn't the cure, we would go on to the next time. He looked at me with concern in his eyes and said, "I'm really hoping it's the Mirena. I don't want to go to the next thing."

I spent the next week with severe cramps and bleeding. It was the first real period my body had in 5 years and I paid dearly for it. I was tired, emotional and useless.

Here is where the story takes a happy turn. Within days, I started getting the old Amanda back. Within 2 weeks, the pain in my side was gone and within 4, so was the pain in my breast. 2 months later, I can happily say that EVERY symptom I listed above has subsided. No headaches, no dizziness or light head, I am much more relaxed and my anxiety level is lower than it's been in 5 years. My skin is slowly clearing and I have energy to get done what I need to in a day. I can also lay my head down at night and fall to sleep very quickly instead of running through 101 different thoughts. My cycle has already returned to a regular, consistent cycle and my hair loss is starting to slow. I also cry all the time. :) That may sound like a bad thing to you, but after going through 5 years of not being able to process emotions through crying like a woman should, I love that sappy commercials or happy occassions stir my heart to tears. I'm an empathetic crier and I like it thank you very much!

The one thing that's taking a little longer would be the mood swings and I'm not even sure if it's because hormonally, I'm still trying to balance out, or because when I do get worked up, I revert back to how I've responded over the last 5 years because it's what I know as my normal. I'm working VERY hard on things like counting to 10 or taking deep breaths before I react so I make sure I do it as logically and calmly as I can. I will say that it takes A LOT to get me to that point now when before, any dent in my day would ruin it for all involved.

I am becoming the Amanda I knew was in there once again after I had all but accepted that the Amanda that was existing over the last 5 years was the one that would always be. My Mirena experience was not only hard and detrimental to my body, but to my role as a wife, mother and friend. 

I know this has been a long post, but I find it so important to share with you what I endured. Not to make a decision for you and your own birth control needs, but to share information that may help you make a decision that suits you best. As women, we need to know exactly what we're putting our bodies through and putting in them. If you google Mirena, you will come across forum after forum after forum of women who have stories just like mine. Some not as bad and some much worse. Some also experience what is now called 'The Mirena Crash' after removal and you can even find detox programs dedicated to this very thing on Pinterest. You can also find numerous class action lawsuits, however, when the company that manufactures the IUD is confronted, they say that only a very small percentage experience these levels of side effects. In my opinion, if 1 does, it's 1 too many.

These are the "known" side effects as stated on the Mirena Website:

Only you and your health care provider can decide if Mirena is right for you. Mirena is recommended for women who have had a child.

• Don’t use Mirena if you have a pelvic infection, get infections easily or have certain cancers. Less than 1% of users get a serious infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. If you have persistent pelvic or abdominal pain, see your health care provider.

• Mirena may attach to or go through the wall of the uterus and cause other problems. If Mirena comes out, use back-up birth control and call your health care provider.

• Although uncommon, pregnancy while using Mirena can be life threatening and may result in loss of pregnancy or fertility.

• Ovarian cysts may occur but usually disappear.

• Bleeding and spotting may increase in the first 3 to 6 months and remain irregular. Periods over time usually become shorter, lighter or may stop.

Mirena will not admit, even after hundreds of cases, that what I experienced is due to their product. I wasn't sure it was because of it either before it was removed. But I can say with 100% certainty, that it was in fact because of my choice to have the Mirena IUD inserted into my body. 

I am grateful for the support system around me and my faith. Without them, I do believe there were times when the constant struggle to find relief  or the battle of emotions in my head and hormonal imbalances could have caused me to make a very unfortunate choice.

I encourage you to KNOW the facts. 

DO the research before you make any decision that may affect your body.

Be IN CHARGE of your health!

- Amanda

ATTENTION: No worrying necessary

Ever have one of those weeks where everything seems all sunshine and unicorns and then one small thing throws it all of course?

Well, that's what last week was for me.

Now let me preface this post by saying that by nature, I'm a worrier. I like to know exactly what's going on at all times and anything 'unplanned' or spontaneous makes me anxious. My sweet husband is the 'roll with the punches' kind of guy while I'm like "punches? What punches? AHHHHH!!! PUNCHES!!!" :)

I feel like it's important for you to know this so you know why I react to things the way I do. I like structure and predictability because that's what gives me peace.

And now all that unravels.... :)

I was headed out on Thursday to run some errands and grabbed my mail. There, inside the mailbox, was the piece of paper that through my day into a tailspin. A notice from our mortgage company telling us that our monthly payment would be increasing by $300! GASP! 

In a moment, I flew into panic. I started making phone calls while trying to hold back the tears choking in my throat. "Why is this happening?" "How will we afford this" "What will we do?" were only a few thoughts that went racing through my head. This was piled on top of some other situations that just simply caused my heart to go into panic mode.

In between calls, as I waited for answers, the tears came. As we drove on to our errands, my little girls were asking why I was upset. I gently replied that it wasn't for them to worry about. That there are things that happen and they're for mommy and daddy to worry about and not them. That is when my oldest daughter, Kate, very quickly replied, "No, it's not for you to worry about. It's for God to take care of."

Wow...right? I mean, she's 8 and half. Where does this kind of knowledge come from? I truly believe that God was using her to catch my attention in that moment and man, did He ever.

She was right. He is right.

I battled with emotions, frustrations, and calls all day long and into the evening and Kate's comment just kept coming back to me. As I laid in bed that night, I prayed about the situation. I told God that He asks us to lay every worry, care and concern at His feet and that's what I was doing. After all, this is one of those situations that only He was going to be able to fix. I asked for His intervention and His peace. 

When I woke the next day, I prayed the exact same thing again. Not only that, but I made the decision that I would not be letting this situation be the master of my day. I decided that any time the problem came in my head that day, that I would quickly shut it down and give God praise for something I was thankful for. Not only did that bring the peace I needed throughout the day, but it kept my heart distracted from worry.

And praise be to Him because by 4pm that day, we had our resolution! In a BIG way! Isn't God amazing???

He is the master of making opportunity from our circumstances.

So this is what I want to share with you. The first being is that we have no need to fear. We have no need to be concerned. God is the peacemaker. He is our Father is knows the needs each and every one of us have. Especially for those like me that need to feel like they're in control, letting go and letting God can be a huge challenge, but I can guarantee that His outcome will always be better than anything we can strum up.

The second is that when your heart is troubled, whether it be over finances, an illness, a situation with another person, that one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is praise. To choose in those quiet moments, when the scary things creep in, to stop and give God praise. Thank him for resolution in those situations or simply give Him praise for something else, but praise Him! He dwells in the praises of His people. 

I want to encourage you, as much as I need to remind myself, that God is in the details. He so desires us to lay our burdens at His feet. To give every tiny fear or unrest to Him. It's in faith that we do this, but in His love for us that He replies. When we feel like our world is out of control, that He is the master of it.

Sweet friends, I want to encourage you today to remember that your life isn't for you to worry about, but for God to take care of. 

-Amanda

From the Word:

6 Don’t worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks for what you have. 7 And because you belong to Christ Jesus, God’s peace will stand guard over all your thoughts and feelings. His peace can do this far better than our human minds. Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry—I am with you.
    Don’t be afraid—I am your God.
I will make you strong and help you. Isaiah 41:10

People might make many plans, but what the Lord says is what will happen.

Proverbs 19:21

I say this because I know the plans that I have for you.” This message is from the Lord. “I have good plans for you. I don’t plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future. Jeremiah 29:11

Remember, I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Consistency Is Key

It's been something I've been chewing on for the last week or so. How important consistency is.
I truly believe that it is the key to all we do. To all our successes.

In my leadership role with my Scentsy business, I must be consistent. I have to continually lead, encourage and support. Not here and there. Not just when I feel like it, but consistently. Consistent leadership in any company will create loyalty and loyalty creates production. They want to work for you because you can be counted upon...always.

In my role as a friend, I must be consistent. I can't be the friend that's only there when it's good. I have to be there when it's bad. I have to be there to take late night phone calls and hard conversations. I have to always speak truth even when it's not what they want to hear. I have to be there to celebrate their lives and not become jealous. Consistent friendship creates trust and trust builds bonds that become hard to break. These are the friendships that will give you the greatest of worth.

In my role as a mother, I must be consistent. I can't say something I don't have intentions of following through on. Even greater than that, if I do say something, I need to remember it later. :) There is a quote that says " I may not always know what my child will do, but my child should ALWAYS know what I will do." I must not only be consistent in discipline and training up, but I also must be consistent in hugs, kisses, tickles and play time. I must consistently show them what a Christian mother looks like and what it means to to love the Lord. I can't ask them for self control if I can't hold on to my own. Consistent parenting creates security and is there nothing more a child craves (whether they know it or not) than security?

In my role as a wife, I must be consistent. I must always show my husband respect, even when it's hard. I must consistently forgive him for the silly things that frustrate me just as I hope he'll forgive me. I must consistently support, love and encourage him. We make these vows when we get married and then somehow quickly forget them when times get tough. I must consistently thank him for his hard work in our family. To the men, your wife needs consistency from you more than you know. It provides her her with all the things I've already mentioned. Loyalty, worth, security- the sames things you'll receive from her as she strives to be consistent for you. A consistent marriage will create a healthy marriage. Both partners will know exactly what to expect from the other and both will feel more fulfilled. This will lead to a happier, healthier home.

In my spiritual life, I must be consistent. I have to continually seek God's place in my life. I must read His word, apply it to each of these areas and strive to always build a stronger relationship with Him. Just as with friendships and marriage, I can't always go running to or even away from God when things are hard. It's the consistency of putting His will above my own each and every day.  It's not questioning his judgement, but looking for His lessons. For praising Him for His blessings and preparing praise reports when I'm uncertain.
I do believe leading a consistent spiritual life can be tougher sometimes than all of the above, but it's absolutely the most crucial. You see, when we are where we should be with our Creator, we are much more able to let Him lead us in the rest. A consistent spiritual life brings peace and there is nothing my heart needs more.

As in everything, consistency isn't always easy, but it is essential! Nothing can be achieved without it. It's about doing the little things each day that will continue to make us greater. I challenge you to seek for consistency and not complacency in your life as I do the same.

Home Improvement

After last week's post , my heart has been so blessed. To be honest, I expected silence from that blog. Uncomfortable silence. Instead, you all have opened your own hearts to me sharing how you'd been there, are there or feel like you're getting there. I've been able to hear how you are starting over in your own marriages after my 'coming clean' and to say that it has brought confirmation that it was the right time/place to share our story is an understatement. I'm thankful God moved on my heart and brought my fingers to the keys last Monday night.

In light of that, I asked my husband if he'd be willing to write a little something regarding the healing in our marriage. We both have seen so much change in our relationship and own lives, that I knew he'd have something valuable to share.

As I read his entry, I couldn't help but think about how much we as women, in an effort to be 'equal'  can end up taking away any chance our husbands have of supporting, loving, and providing for us in the way God has intended. At the same time, as this happens, men over time haven't stood up and been firm in their roles. Maybe because what Josh talks about below is just easier than fighting with a stubborn woman who wants her way (even if it's not the best way). Regardless, God has set in place a perfect design for the marital relationship if we are willing to follow it. It doesn't mean that women can't be strong, work, provide and have opinions. It does mean that we have to be willing to let our husbands lead our families. We trusted them enough to marry them and have children with them, we MUST trust them enough to guide us and take care of us.

And now, a word from My Mr....

My darling wife has asked me to write something for this blog.  I said “sure!”  That was stupid.  I failed to consider the fact that most of you who are reading this blog are women; and many of you have been very moved by one or more of Amanda’s posts.  I am glad that she has been able to share our experiences; but that doesn’t mean that it’s not a bit intimidating to try to follow all of that. 

If you have been reading you know by now that things are really good between Amanda and I right now; but that this hasn’t always been the case.  While she has shared several reasons for this already; including her past and how that shaped her perceptions of relationships; it’s not the whole story.  The rest of the story might not be as interesting; but it may be the most common thread in all of this. 

For the first 10+ years of our marriage; I had no idea how to be the husband that Amanda needed and deserved.  Don’t get me wrong, I was the perfect husband… if you judge by what you see on TV.  I had fallen into the prototypical role of a husband/father that is depicted in nearly every American sit-com in the past 40 years.  I had a job; came home; spent time in the recliner in front of the TV, patiently waiting on my wife to hurry it up with dinner; and played the part of the overgrown child fairly well.  I reasoned that I worked hard; and when I came home it was my time to relax; grumble if the kids were too loud; and catch up on whatever I could manage on Sportscenter.  If I was involved in something; it was one of my projects; a race-car; a truck that I never got quite right; something that separated me from my family.

All of this seemed perfectly normal.  From Tim Allen to Homer Simpson to Ray Romano; I was fitting right into the mold.  Unfortunately; it’s not a mold that anyone should want to fit into.  This isn’t what I needed; what Amanda needed; and definitely not what my two young daughters needed.  Husbands are not another child to raise.  They aren’t to be buffoons that our wives get together and one-up each other with embarrassing stories over.  Whether or not we are the primary financial provider (which is less and less likely) we should come home to be engaged with our families; not to shut them out.  My daughters need to see someone who is happy to see them and play with them.  Who shows them attention and loves their mother.  My wife needs to know that I can’t wait to get home to her; not ESPN.  I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take time to rest or re-charge; but should we be doing that at the expense of the people we love most?

As Amanda and I reassessed our roles in our marriage; it forced me to look at my role in our family overall.  I’m still working on it.  There are still times that I fail to show my family the attention that the need and deserve; but I’m working on it.  I may never be the perfect husband or father; but I can darn sure beat the Tool Man.

From the Word:

25 Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. Ephesians 5:25

4 He must be a good leader of his own family. 1 Timothy 3:4

18 Wives, be willing to serve your husbands. This is the right thing to do in following the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives, and be gentle to them. Colossians 3:18-19

Playing dress up

I've not always been a girly girl. Never a tomboy per say, but not super girly. I never wore makeup and had NO CLUE when it came to styling myself. I was a jeans and t-shirt, hair in a pony tail kind of girl and happy with that. :)
When my company launched our Grace Adele line, I was excited but so intimidated because I didn't know how I was going to be able to sell style when I had none!
Thank goodness that I am exactly who this line is geared towards. A whole system that makes styling simple. Everything matches everything. No fear of looking like a hot mess. It's made it so much easier for me to feel and look put together. Not only is that great for my role in my business because I can present a more professional appearance, but it is also pleasing for my husband who prefers the put together look over yoga pants and tank tops. :) It actually was something we discussed when we reestablished our roles in our marriage this Spring. I didn't realize it was something important to him, but it worded it so well that I couldn't take offense, but saw clearly his point. I always want to make him proud of me and eager to show me off as his wife and to do that, I have to feel and look it and when I look it, I feel it. I also now make sure I look my best for him when he comes home from work each day (if I can). He doesn't ask me to do this, I desire to do it for him.

Now I'm still not a big makeup wearer or fancy schmancy dresser. A typical day means pressed powder, mascara and lip gloss (which suits the hubby just fine especially when it's my Rio Beach gloss ;) and since I'm running around with my littles, it may still be jeans and good  t-shirt, but I've traded flip flops for cute sandals and I always throw on a pair of earrings. It's amazing how a great pair of earrings can dress you up and give you that 'put together' look in an instant.

These are my favorite pair right now. They are called Marguerite. I wear them almost everyday. They go from grocery store to church to dinner to home party and work with everything I own.

Do you consider yourself girly? What one accessory or item makes you feel 'put together'?

Coming next week: 

I'll be having a guest blogger come and share his side of our story. I'm kind of in love with him. ;)

Stay tuned!

5 ways to love your husband

I thought this was the perfect way to follow Mondays post. Thank you all so very much for sharing your words, encouragement and stories with me. It was truly a scary blog to write, but I have been given so much confirmation since then that it was the right story at the right time. I always love how God moves when we allow him to use us. I am humbled and inspired by you and I value each of you greatly!

So in the same vein, here are some great ways we as wives can love our husbands....

How do you show your husband love? (let's keep it clean folks!) ;)

Sticks and Stones

I have to say that this saying has always driven me crazy. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
I realize we use this to build up our children to not let someones attitude about them hurt their spirits, but the fact is, it's so untrue.
Words hurt. Whether said directly to or behind someones back, cruel words hurt.

Just this morning, my daughters and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping in a local store. The girls were behaving well and I was letting them pick our items off the shelves. We turned down an aisle and I asked my oldest to pick up an item we needed. Another lady nearby was needing something in the same area and so I was encouraging Katie to try and hurry up so we weren't in the way. When she couldn't find what I needed, I walked forward and picked up the item and ushered Katie back to our cart. No raised voice, no aggravation, just a simple instruction so we were showing respect to the other shopper.

As I put the item in the cart and we headed down the aisle, a woman approached me and scolded me. She told me that I needed to "chill out", rolled her eyes, stormed off and huffed about me under her breath. I stood there in shock. It was unwarranted and unnecessary. I turned to look at the other patron in the aisle and simply shrugged my shoulders with a look of confusion on my face for lack of something to say. Embarrassed, we went on to finish our shopping. I passed that shopped many times before we left and I could tell she felt bad for me.

Can I tell you what bothered me most about this experience? It wasn't that I didn't deserve it, because I didn't. It was that a total stranger felt it was reasonable to make someone else feel so small. To cut them down and certainly didn't mind doing it in front of her children. In those moments, I questioned my parenting. I racked my brain trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. I walked through the store in shame when no one else, sans the one shopper, saw what happened.
She felt it was okay for her to take, what I assume was a rotten day,  out on me. Someone she didn't even know.

As in all things, I try to pull lessons. On the car ride home, I talked to my girls about how it made me feel and how it's a reminder that we must never make anyone feel like that. That our roles are to uplift and love and support the people around us and to never put them down. It also challenged me to think about how many times one of my bad days was paid for by someone else. Frustrations taken out on my children or spouse or even friends when it had nothing to do with them. How my heart is challenged to keep my heart and my mouth in check.

So yes, sticks and stones may break one's bones....but words hurt just as badly. I will always endeavor to teach my children this and no longer that words cannot hurt them. Because they do and just as others words can hurt them, so can their words to others.



From the Word....

29 When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29

21 The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. Proverbs 18:21

18 But the bad things people say with their mouth come from the way they think. And that’s what can make people wrong. Matthew 15:18

24 Kind words are like honey; they are easy to accept and good for your health. Proverbs 16:24

3 People who are careful about what they say will save their lives, but those who speak without thinking will be destroyed. Proverbs 13:3