Sticks and Stones

I have to say that this saying has always driven me crazy. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
I realize we use this to build up our children to not let someones attitude about them hurt their spirits, but the fact is, it's so untrue.
Words hurt. Whether said directly to or behind someones back, cruel words hurt.

Just this morning, my daughters and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping in a local store. The girls were behaving well and I was letting them pick our items off the shelves. We turned down an aisle and I asked my oldest to pick up an item we needed. Another lady nearby was needing something in the same area and so I was encouraging Katie to try and hurry up so we weren't in the way. When she couldn't find what I needed, I walked forward and picked up the item and ushered Katie back to our cart. No raised voice, no aggravation, just a simple instruction so we were showing respect to the other shopper.

As I put the item in the cart and we headed down the aisle, a woman approached me and scolded me. She told me that I needed to "chill out", rolled her eyes, stormed off and huffed about me under her breath. I stood there in shock. It was unwarranted and unnecessary. I turned to look at the other patron in the aisle and simply shrugged my shoulders with a look of confusion on my face for lack of something to say. Embarrassed, we went on to finish our shopping. I passed that shopped many times before we left and I could tell she felt bad for me.

Can I tell you what bothered me most about this experience? It wasn't that I didn't deserve it, because I didn't. It was that a total stranger felt it was reasonable to make someone else feel so small. To cut them down and certainly didn't mind doing it in front of her children. In those moments, I questioned my parenting. I racked my brain trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. I walked through the store in shame when no one else, sans the one shopper, saw what happened.
She felt it was okay for her to take, what I assume was a rotten day,  out on me. Someone she didn't even know.

As in all things, I try to pull lessons. On the car ride home, I talked to my girls about how it made me feel and how it's a reminder that we must never make anyone feel like that. That our roles are to uplift and love and support the people around us and to never put them down. It also challenged me to think about how many times one of my bad days was paid for by someone else. Frustrations taken out on my children or spouse or even friends when it had nothing to do with them. How my heart is challenged to keep my heart and my mouth in check.

So yes, sticks and stones may break one's bones....but words hurt just as badly. I will always endeavor to teach my children this and no longer that words cannot hurt them. Because they do and just as others words can hurt them, so can their words to others.



From the Word....

29 When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29

21 The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. Proverbs 18:21

18 But the bad things people say with their mouth come from the way they think. And that’s what can make people wrong. Matthew 15:18

24 Kind words are like honey; they are easy to accept and good for your health. Proverbs 16:24

3 People who are careful about what they say will save their lives, but those who speak without thinking will be destroyed. Proverbs 13:3