At a glance, I thought this last year was one of those years for me. On the surface, it seems as if the year has come and gone without anything of significance taking place, but then I started to really look at it. Boy, was I wrong!
This last year hasn't brought us, what would look like to others, as major life changes, but goodness how life has changed.
This time last year, I was still in awe that I had been able to get on a plane to go to our annual Scentsy convention in Las Vegas. It had been a total fear of mine for so many fears and the ONLY things that got me on it and there were my husband, God and knowing my bestie would be on the other side. On the way home, it was my girls I was coming for. I was beyond terrified. They say once you do it, the fear goes away. That's a lie. :)
Two months later, our family would unexpectedly be inviting a sweet German exchange student to come into our home. You can read more about that experience here. We had not planned on taking a student, although we'd been asked. We didn't think the time was right for our family, but God thought different. Our family of 4 was now a family of 5 and I had to learn how to 'parent' a teenager who's mom was the same age as my own. :) God had preparing my heart all summer to be His hands and I kept looking everywhere else for what it was He was preparing it for. This was it all along.
Two months after that, in an effort to push myself as a leader in my business, I auditioned to be a speaker at a regional meeting we call them Spring Sprints. I really only auditioned just for the sake of trying. In my heart, I really didn't want to be chosen. But I was. When I received the email, I completely freaked out. These people must be nuts. Why on earth would they choose me? Self doubt crept in, but I'm thankful for my friends, team and husband who encouraged me to just move forward and give it my best try. In February, I stood in front of over 1,000 and did just that. Now, I can barely give a testimony in church without shaking and bawling, so this was a HUGE deal people! :)
In March, my marriage was healed. No need to go into great detail here as you can read about it in this post.
In April, Josh and I traveled to Charleston, SC. on an incentive trip we'd earned. It was amazing! It was the first time we'd left out girls for that long and I was so nervous. While we were there, we went sailing (I know they say it can't tip over, but I'm still not convinced), kayaking with dolphins (they're not super great with the ores), drove over this bridge (vomit), and even went on a dinner cruise in Charleston harbor (I've seen Titanic too many times. I spent most of our trip hovering somewhere between elated and a nervous wreck. :)
In May, Maja went back to Germany and we had 2 very sad little girls. It wasn't much long after, that I received an phone call that in the most literal sense, made my jaw drop. I remember the words and my reply was 'now do what?'. My sweet friend Sara who works for training at Scentsy corporate was calling to ask if I would be interested in speaking at the annual convention. Again...do what??? I honestly could not believe that of their choice of thousands and thousands of consultants, my name was even an option. I most humbly agreed and then almost threw up. What did I get myself into?
I spent most of June with my stomach in knots and in early July, walked onto a stage in Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis to share my heart with almost 10,000 of my Scentsy family and friends. I think what I spoke on sums up well who I was and where I am now.
And here we are, back to September again. A couple of weeks ago, I received notice that I had earned an all expense paid trip for my husband and I to our leadership conference in Cancun at the Moon Palace Resort in January. Let me remind you that only a little over a year ago I had taken my first flight as an adult and hated every second of it. Here we are now with the opportunity of a lifetime. To be in Mexico in January learning and networking from the cream of the crop in my business and the only thing in our way is a 2.5 hour plan ride across the Gulf of Mexico. The day I actually had to register, I had a near panic attack. I'm talking heart racing, dry heaving, pacing the floor attack. But you know what? I worked hard and my husband deserves for me to drug myself up, get on that plane and take him to Mexico in 4 months, but can I do it?
So let's recap... In the last year, I...
Challenged (not overcame) my fear of flying
Lost almost 50 lbs (watch the videos for more on that)
Took in an exchange student and learned what it was to become His hands
Gave my first speech in front of over 1,000 people (never gave one in high school or college)
Had my marriage saved
Traveled across the country
Shared my heart at the Scentsy Reunion
and will soon, take a flight to Mexico
I wanted to share all of this with you not to brag on what all I've done. Really, it's the complete opposite. I wanted to share this with you to show YOU what YOU can do.
I am a person who constantly fights fears. Fears of not being enough, of not giving enough. Rational fears and some irrational. I like my comfort zones and don't like the feeling that rises up in my tummy when I'm being challenged to get out of them. But look at that list. Look at what I've been able to do because I CHOSE to get uncomfortable.
It is amazing what challenging our fears brings. It doesn't always bring resolution to those fears, but in creates something in us that makes us so much more. After each one of those events, I was changed. Some part of me was different. I felt more powerful, more open, more willing, and more vulnerable.
Today, I sit here writing a completely different person than I was a year ago. My life changed. A remarkable year. Not at first sight, but deep in the heart of the matter. This was a year of significance.
I think it is said best here....
What are you afraid of?
-Amanda
From the Word:
No comments:
Post a Comment